"Now push. Push!""I can't!"
"Yes you can, you're just not trying! Now breath!" Ray Plastic puffed rhythmically into his wife's face.
She reached up and slapped him. "For the last time, I am not in labour!"
Ray sat back on his heels, red in the face from exertion. "You had a show."
"No, I said I was going to be IN a show. The Battle of the Bands, remember? With Uterus, the menopausal girl group?"
"But you said you had a contraction!"
"No, I said we had a contract. Now give me a hand getting up off this floor."
With difficulty Ray pulled Mary to a vertical position. "So you're just going to go ahead with this, are you?"
"Didn't you hear what I said, Ray? We have a contract. We're going to be famous. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
Ray shrugged. He didn't really have a concept of fame. The only person who seemed to be well known around Plastic St was Granny Gold, and that was because people just didn't like her. It was more a sort of infamy, really. Of course there were the newsreaders as well, those vague head and shoulders that popped up on the television reading exactly the same news report day after day. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember what the news report actually was, which was rather odd as it never changed.
Quickly he sat down in the armchair on a button which automatically activated the television. The tinny theme music blared out.
"What...?" began Mary, but Ray hushed her.
"The news!" he hissed.
After a few seconds the television switched itself off. The news was over.
Ray shook his head. "Nope. I've still got no idea what they're on about."
"Ray, look at me. Look at me. What do you see?" demanded Mary.
Ray turned round and looked at his wife. "I see a..." He peered at her stomach. "Is that your belly button? It looks like a gear stick!"
Mary's face crumpled. "Well, the record company see a star, and that's what I'm going to be. With or without your support." She waddled off towards the front door.
"Wait! Mary! You can't! I'm sure I glimpsed the head while I was down there! Mary, come back!"
Mary put her hand on the door and looked back at him. She opened her mouth to say something.
The door swung open.
"Mr Plastic! Come quick!" Brandon stood panting on the doorstep with a wild look in his eyes. His hair stood on end and he clutched his side as though in pain. "Grandad's fallen down the abyss!"
