Episode 21 - Shocking Evil

Being evil wasn't easy, Granny Gold mused as she began to gather the equipment she needed. She hadn't made a bomb since she was a child. Things had certainly changed since those golden days. She vaguely remembered running wild through the Street, posting explosives through people's letterboxes and laughing until she wet her knickers. Actually, things hadn't changed all that much.

She started to assemble the bomb, following her own instructions on the Lesson 35 diagram. What a pity all her training manuals for Brandon on becoming the Ultimate Evil were going to be wasted. He had seemed such a promising child, torturing his sisters and even getting one put into a wheelchair. For a time she had admired him, had almost lov... lov... lov... No, she couldn't even think the word. Granny Gold was incapable of love. But if she hadn't been, she might have loved Brandon.

Not now, though. He was as vacuous as the rest of them. The Battle of the Bands? What was next, the Plastic Factor? Dancing on Plastic? I'm Plastic, Get Me Out of Here?

She had no idea where those show titles came from. There was only one television in Plastic St and she never got to watch it because it was in The House. The only house. The house that should have been hers. She was the oldest person in the street. She had the weakest bladder. That house had a toilet and a bath with running water sound effects!

Enraged at the unfairness of it all, she misaligned some wires and gave herself an electric shock. Luckily she happened to have a mild heart attack at the same time and the shock simply restarted her heart without her knowing anything at all about what had just happened.*

* Comic situation copyright Harry Hill 1997. Goal!