An Interview with Simon Vinyl

As special guest star in the new season of Plastic St, Simon Vinyl's character is certainly making waves. But what's it like playing yourself on an internet phenomenon? We catch up with Simon on the set of his 'day job', I've Got Talent, Get Me Out of Here.

Simon, you're not the first celebrity to play themselves on a show. What's the attraction?

As a global megastar I'm always being offered acting parts. What drew me to the part of myself? Well, I've always admired myself. What better part could there be?

Could you stop licking the mirror? That's actually pretty disgusting.

Sorry. I also get to wear a helmet and visor for the whole show.

So you don't even need to act, really.

I could if I wanted to.

I'm sure. And how did you get on with the other cast members? Dame Margaret Montgomery, for example?

The old girl's a hoot! Nothing like her character. You'd never guess she was just an ordinary old granny, plucked off the streets with her tartan shopper still in her hand -

Stop - are you reading that?

- copyright Plastic St publicity department. What? No. Okay, okay! I took a bribe.

We know Dame Margaret's past was a publicity stunt, Simon. Cut the crap.

All right. I'll tell you the truth. Dame Maggie is an incontinent, alcoholic old hag -

On second thoughts, can you resume the crap.

With pleasure. The whole cast were lovely and we will all remain dear, dear friends. Facebook friends only, hopefully.

In the episodes we are about to see, your character Simon Vinyl, based on yourself, decides to start a reality TV show about Plastic St. Is this taking postmodernism to the extreme? An internet soapblog about a reality show about an internet soap blog? Do you think the producers are getting a bit 'up themselves'?

I thought you were a fan of Plastic St. Hang on - are you reading that?

Okay, okay! I took a bribe too! From Wooden St. It's a rival soapblog on - whisper it - Wordpress. They just wanted me to introduce some doubt, make Plastic St look pretentious.

You phoney.

You're the phoney, Simon.

God, I love phonies. Shut the trailer door. Let's lick some mirrors.


I'VE GOT TALENT, GET ME OUT OF HERE is on Saturday nights at 8 pm on Sid. PLASTIC ST is on whenever the producer can be arsed.